You've picked a bridal shower date, put a deposit down on a party venue, and thoughtfully chosen a theme. Now it's time to solidify the guest list and send out invitations. Are you wondering just who to invite to the shower? In general, this is totally up to both the bride and the event's host and should be a reflection of what you both feel comfortable with. Traditionally, though, the bridal shower guest list consists of the following group:
- The wedding party
- Close family members
- Close friends
Of course, as is the case with most wedding-related events, there's some nuance to consider here. Ahead, find our best tips for figuring out who should be invited to a bridal shower and the associated guest list etiquette you'll want to pay close attention to.
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Bridal Shower Invitation and Guest List Etiquette
Ultimately, it's the responsibility of the event's host to make the guest list, but most brides-to-be will want to weigh in on who is and isn't invited to her bridal shower. It's best to have a rough idea of how many guests the bride will want at her shower before choosing a venue; once you have both a venue locked down and her ideal guest list, you can get to work. When that time comes, the following etiquette points will come in handy.
Don't Invite Anyone to the Bridal Shower If They're Not Also Invited to the Wedding
This may seem obvious, but inviting people to the bridal shower if they are not invited to the wedding is inappropriate. It will likely offend them, and it looks very much so like you're pandering for gifts. The only exception is an office shower, where coworkers want to impart good wishes to the betrothed, but that would be hosted by an entirely different group of people.
Keep It Intimate
When it comes to inviting friends, it may be hard to narrow down your list, but the shower really is for your nearest and dearest. Of course, invite your wedding party and close family and friends. Do not feel obligated to invite significant others or friends of your relatives unless you truly have a close relationship with them. A shower should be a healthy mix of family and friends who know you best. After all, how else will they be able to win all those fun shower games?
The Host Ultimately Decides the Number of Guests
It's up to the host to decide how many guests they feel comfortable having in attendance. The host and the bride should sit down to discuss the number of guests they feel comfortable having, both based on size constraints and the overall budget. If the betrothed's list exceeds that number, consider having more than one shower (perhaps one for friends and one for family), but the host should not be asked to go over the guest count.
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It's Fine to Have Multiple Bridal Showers
Sometimes, more than one person wants to throw you a shower—and generally speaking, that's totally okay. Just be sure to make each guest list unique based on the hosts. For a shower hosted by bridesmaids, the guest list can include your friends, while the shower hosted by relatives can include extended family and your parents‘ close friends. If your in-laws are hosting a shower, tip the balance toward their side and keep your list to immediate family.
How to Build Your Bridal Shower Guest List
By the time the bridal shower is being organized, the couple should also be deep in the wedding planning process, so it's best to cross-reference with the ceremony and reception guest list. Find time to connect with the bride-to-be and discuss who is and is not going to be invited to the wedding. From there, you can begin crafting the bridal shower guest list.
Once you nail down the ideal list of who you'd like to invite—including a small buffer for guests who won't be able to attend—it's time to gather addresses. Work with the bride-to-be and family members on both sides to to get mailing information for everyone who needs to receive an invitation.
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FAQs
A bridal shower guest list will be mostly the bride's closest friends, bridal party, and family. If the groom's mom is helping with the organizing, she may ask to invite the groom's sisters and aunties, so you can count on including the groom's close family too.
Who usually gets invited to a bridal shower? ›
Friends from the couple's close social circle, friends from childhood or college, etc will likely attend. You don't have to invite plus ones, co-workers or acquaintances of your parents, or friends of your future spouse unless you're close to them.
Do you invite people to a bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding? ›
The short answer is, you should not invite anyone to your shower who will not be invited to the wedding. Your shower is an intimate gathering of some of the closest women (and men if you choose) in your life, and if anyone makes the cut for your shower, they should also be close enough to you to get a wedding invite.
Do bridesmaids get invited to all showers? ›
These days brides will often have more than one shower. If this is the case, the hosts should consult each other to avoid inviting guests to more than one shower (the obvious exceptions to this are the bridesmaids, who should be invited to all of the showers, but not expected to attend).
Does the father of the bride attend the bridal shower? ›
Do men come to Bridal Showers? It's all up to the bride and groom. Typically, the Groom, Father of the Bride and Father of the Groom are invited. The Grandfather of the Bride and/or Groom may also be considered.
Who is expected to pay for the bridal shower? ›
Although once upon a time it was expected that the bride's family would foot the bridal shower bill, modern society has changed the rules. Nowadays, the person (or people) hosting the bridal shower are responsible for covering the costs associated with the shower.
What is the protocol for a bridal shower? ›
"You can invite whomever you would like from the wedding guest list. Keep the guest list small and manageable, don't have too many showers, and don't invite the same people to multiple showers," says Gottsman. "If someone is not invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to the shower."
What is proper etiquette for bridal shower invitations? ›
Be Sure to Include All Relevant Information on the Invite
"A well-crafted bridal shower invitation should include several key pieces of information: the bride's name, the date and time of the shower, the venue address, RSVP details, and any registry information," notes Forbes.
How to respond to a bridal shower invitation? ›
Since bridal showers are generally quite informal, even an e-mail response is fine. In your response, you thank the person for inviting you, make a statement that indicates how much you would like to attend, and then state your regret at being unable to do so. It's not necessary to state why you are unable to attend.
What's the point of a bridal shower? ›
The purpose: to shower the bride with good wishes, congratulations, and gifts. It's as simple as that! During a bridal shower, guests come together to celebrate the bride and have some fun. The event usually includes activities, games, and sometimes even a theme.
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com.
Does the mother of the bride pay for the bridal shower? ›
In most cases, it's the mother of the bride's duty to help plan and pay for the bridal shower. Similar to the wedding budget, the to-be-weds' parents should expect to contribute financially if they want a say in the bridal shower details, like the guest list and venue.
Whose responsibility is it to throw a bridal shower? ›
When it comes to the question “who hosts a bridal shower,” the most popular answer is usually the maid of honor. One of the most important maid of honor duties is leading the charge to plan the bridal shower, from choosing a venue to sending out bridal shower invitations, planning games to choosing favors.
Does the mother of the groom give a bridal shower? ›
The Mother of the Groom Can Co-Host the Bridal Shower
If the mother of the groom is very close with the bride, then she may feel as though it's her duty to pitch in, too. If your mom, sister, or friends are on board with the idea of a co-host, then this is an entirely acceptable route.
Does the mother of the bride help with a shower? ›
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
Is it rude to invite someone to a bridal shower but not the wedding? ›
Etiquette says that you can't invite someone to your bridal shower (and expect them to give a gift) but not invite them to the wedding. It's a major faux pas.
Who is expected to throw a bridal shower? ›
Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.
How many people are typically at a bridal shower? ›
A bridal shower should be an event for those closest to the bride, both in relationship and location. I'm often asked how many guests should be invited to a shower, and I usually recommend keeping it to around 25 guests if possible. Everyone wants to see their gift opened and the reaction on the bride's face.
Who traditionally puts on a bridal shower? ›
When it comes to the question “who hosts a bridal shower,” the most popular answer is usually the maid of honor. One of the most important maid of honor duties is leading the charge to plan the bridal shower, from choosing a venue to sending out bridal shower invitations, planning games to choosing favors.
Are men invited to bridal showers? ›
If some of the guests live out of town and most likely won't be able to make it to the shower, you should still send an invitation. This lets them know they weren't forgotten. As you are creating the guest list, keep in mind that men usually aren't invited to the bridal shower.
